This is a photo that I took last April 2013 when I was in Lucena.
I just noticed that there are a lot of things that has changed. Some things don’t seem like they’re real. Not out of negativity but of wonder and excitement. For example, entering my poem at a contest or making a portfolio for something that’s important to me. Another is going to TEDx events and talking to people that I can’t seem to talk to 3 years ago. It’s different. Things are quite different now. It just still seems quite unrealistic that things are actually happening. And it’s actually very weird.
I’m sort of afraid of change because it’s a whole different aspect from what I usually see everyday but it’s one thing that we must embrace. We must take a shot and try everything that we can in order to be something else. I TOOK A SHOT IN EVERYTHING I COULD. One example is entering that poem in a contest I had no trust in winning (but it’s a very deep one!) or trying to get in as a layout designer which I do not quite trust myself in. I don’t believe in myself a lot, but I push myself forward because I know that’s where I’m heading to.
It just still seems quite unrealistic that things are actually happening. And it’s actually very weird.
Doubt is what gets me. I mean, everyone doubts. I know that I should stop it but it’s inevitable. I do think a lot like, “is that the one I made even worthy or being recognized?” or “that one was sick. I shouldn’t have entered anyway.” I know I should have tried in those things that I wanted to do but it’s not hard with writer’s block and insecurity [on writing or drawing] in your way.
Time seems to be quicker than that roller coaster at the Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi.
But I guess, that is the way of change. We can’t do something about that.