I’ve started writing on journals again just this January. I stopped at mid-August 2016 because it was sort of draining me in a way where I force myself to write to escape loneliness. There’s not much to be said about it.
All of these are unedited. I also apologize in advance for the redundancy that you will encounter here.
The following are just a few of my entries.
Here’s what I’ve got so far.
20:58 January 21, 2017 21:09
I am aware that I haven’t been writing on journals for nearly half a year now. I cannot exactly remember when I stopped it but ignore that. I am back now.
Maybe the reason why I began writing journals again is that I have been having a hard time writing essays and poems to get things out of my system.
I can’t say that I’m having a hard time these days (well, you could say that) but if you ask me, I feel sad and pressured at the moment. I guess writing will calm me down.
I really do hope it will.
And on another note, 1Q84 is great so far.
22:28 February 3, 2017 (I forgot to indicate what time I finished writing the entry)
To tell you the truth, I haven’t been writing a piece for weeks now. I feel drained, tired, and uninspired.
I am only writing at the moment to gradually repel my writer’s block. I honestly do not know what to write. I want to get back on my phase again. I’ve been reading Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 and it has been really therapeutic.
I wish I have my time on my hands but unfortunately, I do not.
Another note, I’ve been thinking too hard on what I should write here but I will be concluding today’s entry with this: I love writing on brown recycled paper.
13:37 March 5, 2017 13:52
I have to tell you something.
I am afraid and in love of departure.
It’s starting to hit me that I am growing up and I am now moving to senior high. I will be leaving the people who I love and been with for 4 years or at least 2 years, if not.
It’s starting to hit me that all of these will vanish in less than a month: schoolwork, practices, connections, and the likes. Some of them might survive but the majority won’t.
It’s starting to dawn on me that I won’t get to see the faces I love to see 5 times a week; that I won’t be hearing their voices for long. Those that I will truly miss.
Funnily, it’s starting to hit on me that I’ll be missing schoolwork despite my love-hate relationship with it. But oh well, here’s to more studying in summer! (And here waves my French lessons and debate preparations)
22:12 March 6, 2017 22:18
I just realized that one of the best things we could do and even be at the moment is to be thankful.
Today happened to be the last meeting of the Herald. All thanks and words were given. I hope the team next year will do a great job.
I just remembered that all of these will be gone in weeks. In weeks.
(It’s not like I am overly saddened or happy about it. It’s just that I’ve been doing this for nearly a year now. I’ll have to change by April).
I can’t end this entry without having to say that I’ll miss what I have now.
So here it is: I’ll surely miss all of these and I’m thankful for what I have now.
17:16 March 11, 2017 17:24
It suddenly strikes to me how one person can change another.
You could have them stop doing a habit or to start one. You could have them broken or made up.
It also strikes to me how simple the word broken is yet instills a very tough feeling or emotion.
It’s amazing and terrifying how we can change someone but it’s also sad how we can’t change people in the way we want them to even for all the right reasons.
I guess we have to keep moving on no matter how difficult things are and will be.